Shabbat Parshat Ki Tetzei

Parashat Ki Teitzei is different from the rest of Sefer Devarim. The sefer as a whole is made up of numerous addresses by Moshe to the people. Parashat Ki Teitzei stands out in that it is made up of staccato-like pieces each addressing a different mitzvah or topic. Within the parasha, there is a certain flow from piece to piece, but it does stand out from the rest of the sefer. It is similar in nature to Parashat Mishpatim in Sefer Shemot which also is made up of staccato-like pieces. We will focus on one mitzvah in the parasha – that of the Yefat Toar.
The description of the Yefat Toar raises some moral and halachic issues. First – the man seems to be forcing himself on the woman during the battle and the Torah is condoning it. Second, the woman must undergo a conversion to marry the man and this appears to be regardless of what she wants – or against her will, something we don’t allow in conversion. We will look at how the Gemara and the Rishonim deal with these issues.
The Torah describes how when a man at war will see a beautiful woman, he is to take her home. Her hair is shaved. ‘Vi'asata et tziparneha’ – regarding her nails, he either allows them to grow long, in the sense that she is in mourning for her family; or, he pares them down, similar to what is done to her hair. The Torah continues that if he chooses not to marry her, then he must set her free ‘tachat asher inita’ – due to the pain that he caused her (we will return to this piece later).
[As background, we know that the common practice in ancient civilizations was that captured people were sold into slavery. The Torah here is separating out our treatment of this woman from what would have been standard practice in earlier times.]
One issue that is discussed is: When is the first time that the man has relations with the woman? The Talmud Bavli, on the simple level of understanding the Gemara, says that the man forces himself on her when he first takes her and then again after she completes the process described in the Torah [Ramban is the one who notes that this is the ‘peshat’ understanding in the Gemara]. Rashi explains the Gemara to mean he never sleeps with her until after the process has been completed. Ramban as well, though admitting this is not the simple meaning of the Gemara, reads the Gemara like Rashi does. The Talmud Yerushalmi understands that he sleeps with her twice - once on the battlefield and then again after she has gone through the whole process of the Yefat Toar.
This issue of whether there is an initial act of relations against her will is also relevant to explaining the reason she goes free if the man doesn’t want to marry her. The pasuk says ‘tachat asher inita.’ Some of the commentaries understand that this refers to the woman being tormented – forced to grow her nails, have her head shaved, etc. Rashbam explains it means because he had relations with her against her will when he first took her.
A second issue discussed is the woman’s conversion to Judaism. Everyone agrees that the woman has to convert if the man marries her. Normally, we assume that a conversion cannot be against someone’s will. So much so, that when a non-Jewish child is adopted and converted, it is done ‘al da’at bet din.’ We require consent and we allow that of bet din to suffice, but the child has the option when he/she comes of age to determine that he/she did not want to convert. How then do we allow a forced conversion in this case? Most of the commentaries describe it as an exception to the rule. [In a similar vein to how the Torah allows forced relations, according to some above, in these laws, there is an exception here allowing the forced conversion]. The Rambam takes a different tack. He learns that at the end of the process, the woman has a right of final refusal – that there is no exception. (Hilchot Milachim 8:7)
Underlying the mitzva of Yefat Toar is the notion that we have to live with the consequences of our actions. He can choose to have her, but he must be prepared for the consequences of bringing her into his home. One of the reasons the man brings her to his house may be so that his family will see her and there will be dialogue between them and the man; it may cause him to realize the consequences of what he is doing. The notion of being prepared to live with the consequences of one’s actions is an important one.